Friday, April 24, 2015

Walking on water

The last two and a half months have been hard. Wading through the grief and brokenness takes a lot out of you. But God is good, and he has made himself very known to us through all of it. He gives us peace where there would be none without Him. He has grown our faith in Him in ways that are impossible without this kind of trial.

Last fall we started thinking about adopting again, but logistics of caring for Timothy and his upcoming surgeries lead us to postpone any new adoption plans. Our hearts were ready then. When he passed away, people asked if we would adopt again. Both of us answered with a resounding yes. I am so thankful that God does not allow us to see the future, because if I had known then what we would go through I don't know if I would have chosen it. Who would go into something knowing you would be so completely heartbroken at the end? But to know all that we gained, yes. Yes I would do it again to not miss out on all of the joy and good times. My oldest daughter told people she gave us 6 months tops before we committed again.

And so we press on. We do so with a greater understanding of what family means for the kids left behind. And that every child deserves the love of a family no matter how long they are here for, or what challenges this earth brings them. We do so knowing they make as much of an impact on our world, if not more, than we could. The ripples of impact that Timothy had on us, the lives of those around us, and beyond, will continue for eternity. There are more children out there with stories to tell and lives to live outside of orphanage walls.

And so, with grief in our throats, and knees shaking, we step out in faith with Christ to walk across the ocean. And that is the name of our adoption journey this round.

Join us as we Walk Across the Ocean to bring *two* more children with special needs home.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Broken

This is one post no parent could ever feel "inspired" to write. We are heartbroken and shattered. On February 2nd, 2015 our sweet sunshine boy went to be with Jesus. We take comfort in knowing he is fully healed in a way that could never happen here on Earth and in knowing that one day we will hold him again in Heaven. But the hurt that pierces our souls while we await that day is beyond words. We are forever changed by having him in our lives and we will never forget him. He taught us about love and complete joy. 

In memory of our beloved son, Timothy. We would do it all again for 16 months with you.

Working hard in that stander with his favorite book. He LOVED things with velcro. 

What a big boy! He had grown 5" and gained 12 pounds in the time he was with us.  (December 2014)
Sweet sweet smile (October 2014)

"Walking" with sissy on his birthday

Laughing at Peek-a-boo Elmo on Christmas

Eating from a spoon

Oh that smile


Just one day after turning 4 he took his FIRST nap on daddy. What a gift. The day before he drank his first bottle given by daddy as well. God is so good to give my husband these priceless gifts before taking our baby home. (Jan 2015)


There is not a second that goes by that I don't miss you, little man. Your silly sense of humor, laughing hysterically at Peep & the Big Wide World episodes, and getting so excited about doors that open and pages that turn.  The snuggles. The radiant smiles as you responded to us signing with you and you knew what we meant. Oh how you changed from that vacant little boy we met in Ukraine to the joyous life filled boy that we miss so dearly.