A family member posted one of those comical pictures on her Facebook a few days ago that read "The most dangerous place in the world is between a mom and her kids". Wooooweee I could not agree more with that statement. Ask my kids. They have seen mama bear come out in their defense before. That's how I feel about this little one too. When I think about the sorts of things that have come up as little hiccups in our path, I get my mama hen hackles up, and the 'just you TRY to keep me from my child' attitude. I have to admit, it's a little frightening even for me! It has been really hard with not being officially committed on Reece's Rainbow. I get a little bit riled up in my heart when I see people considering this child as a possibility to adopt. Thinking that this child that is so precious to us may end up with someone else. Not that they shouldn't consider him, nor do I have any right or claim. They have found him just as I had. I should feel ok with that, because really the sooner they are in a loving family the better. Still, the thought of it knocks the wind out of me. I've been trying really hard to not get so attached, just in case, but it is so hard not to. I know my kids and hubby are all hopelessly in love already. Ultimately I do believe that if it is God's will, it will happen. And if he has a different child in mind for our family, it will work out for God's glory. We want to be the best match for what ever child becomes a part of our family. The wait to find that out is a bit rough though. And if this is not the one, it is going to sting.
Right now the only real thing holding us back is the funding. Sales that I had expected to go well, haven't. Some things have surprised me though and went for more. Still we are fighting for every dollar and it's only the beginning. I am digging through more and more stuff to find things worth trying to sell, painting as much as I possibly can (usually around 6-8 hours a day before my eyes cross and I can no longer focus on things more than 8" from my face), and sewing for a few hours in the evening when I get a chance. This along with the normal day to day running of a small farm and a household of 7. Did I mention that the kids put up the Christmas decorations themselves? I did have to dig out the nativity set. For some reason the mantle just did not look right with a giant santa, some pine trees, a space alien, and 2 lego star wars figures complete with fighter ships. It was cute though.
Alright enough rambling for tonight. I'm exhausted! Time for bed. Good luck to everyone who bought a lotto ticket tonight. ;)
